[the next time "Mike" steps through a door, he steps into a different room entirely.
Well. A room under construction, anyway.
There's a stepladder and paint set up in a corner, and the room is covered in white drapes to protect the furniture from getting messy. There is another door across the room, and should he go to look at it he'll find a note, a key, and a coin taped to the door:]
Welcome ________!
Congratulations on being chosen as _________'s Spark! They're looking forward to working with you soon! For now, they've opened up their realm for you to make yourself at home. This door will lead to a room you can use as your own; the only rule is that you do not bring anyone here without ____________'s permission. Otherwise, this space is yours to share.
[DISORIENTING TO SUDDENLY END UP IN A DIFFERENT PLACE . . . but he knows about the theoretical Secret Base or whatever, and this has to be that, right? Of course he goes to check out the note immediately, frowning as he reads it over.]
What the heck, it's just a form letter?! They forgot to even fill it out before sending it?! Eh . . .
[He pulls off the key and the coin, looking the coin over as he unlocks the door to his room.]
Wait, if the locked room is MY room, what's this other room even for?
[it would seem that management has worked something out pretty quickly, because when Mike steps into the realm, it's a little different!
As in, there's a huge table in the center of the room. There's comfy chairs around it and most of the walls behind it have been painted dark black and grays, so that when one first looks at it from a specific angle, it gives off "lair" vibes.
. . . the rest of the room is still under construction but hey, it's a start!
There's a tiny girl up on the step ladder, comparing two colors of gray she's splattered on the wall with the utmost seriousness]
Ehhhh, this would look nice highlighting everything but I dunno . . .
[To his credit, he does dart over immediately with his arms out to catch her. When it's not necessary, he crosses them over his chest instead with a huff.]
I didn't sneak anywhere! What am I supposed to do, knock? On WHAT?
[she jumps down off the step ladder and stands up as tall as a 4 foot nothing girl can, hands on her hips. And with all the confidence in the world, states:]
Hello, minion! You may call me MISTRE—[she coughs and clears her throat]—bleghM-Mistress Cadet!
[Shit he still hasn't picked a name yet but he has to pick one now to MAYBE avoid being called Minion from now on. It's bad enough with Spamton going around calling him TV Slop! He has to just bite the bullet and roll the dice here—]
Where did that even come from?! Ahhh, you're right though! I know it's not cool! I rolled a SIX and just went with it because I panicked! Help me out here!!
If I just roll until it comes up with what I WANT, that defeats the purpose of rolling the dice in the first place! Wait, but if there's one I want, why AM I leaving it to chance anyway?! I don't HAVE to! Then how about Dos Equis? If anyone asks, I rolled a TEN the hard way!
Pfahaha, AS IF! Since when does management ever do $#%@? I heard about it from Trouble! We're just making bad memories for people for you guys to EAT, is that right? Hey, does it work if they're MY bad memories? It does, right? That's what he said! That means we CAN'T lose!
Stupid management . . . they're so lazy!! They're big jerks too, ugh!
But yeah, we gotta make bad memories for The Evocated to eat! Those're the ones she likes the most! And that COULD work . . . oh gosh, that's GENIUS. We'll never stop winning!
If you really think about it, we're doing everyone a FAVOR! The more bad memories we make for people to get eaten, the more memories they've got in stock. Like restocking the fridge! And the less likely it gets that the good memories they care about more get taken out and eaten. Like the jar of pickles in the BACK of the fridge! So tell me what you've got in mind!
[He holds his arms out again, in case she wants to jump off into them or something. Just in case!]
It's - ummm, what's the term . . . oh! Gaming the system!! That's totally a good deed - like, it's still suitably EVIL but also it's not MEAN mean like Big Sis tries to do -
[considers him.
Leaps into his arms!]
If we're gonna do that then we gotta do a whole bunch of little things! Those'll build up faster than doing the super mean stuff!
[WHEEEEEE! He is much stronger than he looks for a little mob enemy guy and catches her easily, then swings her up to set her on her feet again. Ta-da! . . . Really, the gambling aspect may make him more T for Teens, but it's still hard for any toy-type Darkner to not have a weak spot for kids. And if his boss is a kid he has to babysit, that's still an easier pill to swallow than his boss being a man like twenty years his senior whom he also has to babysit.
This is fine.]
You mean PRANKS! Hey, you know what TV is, right? You've seen those prank shows? I've worked on them!
They get a crew to set up pranks and film them so they can edit them together later and show them on TV! Those're pretty popular. One time we got Kris to try flushing a bath bomb down the toilet . . . Tenna still feels bad about that one! The plumbing bill was no joke!
Ahaha! The bath bomb one specifically? Sure, why not? As long as you've got bath bombs here! That stuff's not REALLY my thing, so I never checked the store.
So there're Paragons like you, and managers above you, and The Evocated is above that, huh . . . ? I'm trying to get an idea of how things are set up here! But NONE of 'em are safe from us either way!
There's some paragons who act like they're the leader, but no one really listens to them 'cuz it's stupid. We're all equal! And equally targets for our pranks!
YOU'VE got a good head on your shoulders! I got lucky after all with our contract. It'll be an honor working with you! If you've got marching orders for me to get started, let's hear them!
Loud and clear, Boss! And I'm supposed to ask you for permission if I want to bring someone in, right? Not that I'm GOING to, just . . . if something came up! Do I text you or what?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
day 4
Well. A room under construction, anyway.
There's a stepladder and paint set up in a corner, and the room is covered in white drapes to protect the furniture from getting messy. There is another door across the room, and should he go to look at it he'll find a note, a key, and a coin taped to the door:]
Welcome ________!
Congratulations on being chosen as _________'s Spark! They're looking forward to working with you soon! For now, they've opened up their realm for you to make yourself at home. This door will lead to a room you can use as your own; the only rule is that you do not bring anyone here without ____________'s permission. Otherwise, this space is yours to share.
__________ will get in touch with you soon!
Sincerely,
Management
PS: Don't mind the mess! ♥
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[DISORIENTING TO SUDDENLY END UP IN A DIFFERENT PLACE . . . but he knows about the theoretical Secret Base or whatever, and this has to be that, right? Of course he goes to check out the note immediately, frowning as he reads it over.]
What the heck, it's just a form letter?! They forgot to even fill it out before sending it?! Eh . . .
[He pulls off the key and the coin, looking the coin over as he unlocks the door to his room.]
Wait, if the locked room is MY room, what's this other room even for?
day 5
As in, there's a huge table in the center of the room. There's comfy chairs around it and most of the walls behind it have been painted dark black and grays, so that when one first looks at it from a specific angle, it gives off "lair" vibes.
. . . the rest of the room is still under construction but hey, it's a start!
There's a tiny girl up on the step ladder, comparing two colors of gray she's splattered on the wall with the utmost seriousness]
Ehhhh, this would look nice highlighting everything but I dunno . . .
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[Sharply, and automatically, before he realizes what is surely the situation here.]
Oh, you're on the crew, aren't ya?
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I DIDN'T DO IT I'M INNOCEN—
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I didn't sneak anywhere! What am I supposed to do, knock? On WHAT?
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Oh.
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Well okay you're forgiven. THIS TIME.
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[He does not realize yet who this is.]
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That's a really good idea, actually.
But of course I have a key! This is my lair.
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[OOPS]
Heeeey, boss!
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[she jumps down off the step ladder and stands up as tall as a 4 foot nothing girl can, hands on her hips. And with all the confidence in the world, states:]
Hello, minion! You may call me MISTRE—[she coughs and clears her throat]—bleghM-Mistress Cadet!
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Yeah, uh, yes! Sure thing! . . . Mistress. Cadet. I'm—
[Shit he still hasn't picked a name yet but he has to pick one now to MAYBE avoid being called Minion from now on. It's bad enough with Spamton going around calling him TV Slop! He has to just bite the bullet and roll the dice here—]
Jimmie!
[Eh, could be worse.]
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[he does loom . . . she purses her lips, then steps up on the step ladder again, carefully balancing on a step so that now SHE looms]
That's not a very cool name . . . you need something more sinister! Scary! A name that will strike fear into our enemies!
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CADE GUNMETAL.
[please ignore her]
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You gotta roll the dice again, then! See if they can come up with something bada—um, super cool!
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[she gives a polite little bow, then turns to scramble to the very top of the step ladder to balance on top]
Ohohoho, I'm glad you asked, Minion Dos Equis!
You and I are going to cause mayhem and suffering. The likes of which have never been seen before!!
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[the step ladder wobbles, but she gets her balance again]
So you know what we gotta do already? Management actually did their job?
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But yeah, we gotta make bad memories for The Evocated to eat! Those're the ones she likes the most! And that COULD work . . . oh gosh, that's GENIUS. We'll never stop winning!
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[He holds his arms out again, in case she wants to jump off into them or something. Just in case!]
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It's - ummm, what's the term . . . oh! Gaming the system!! That's totally a good deed - like, it's still suitably EVIL but also it's not MEAN mean like Big Sis tries to do -
[considers him.
Leaps into his arms!]
If we're gonna do that then we gotta do a whole bunch of little things! Those'll build up faster than doing the super mean stuff!
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This is fine.]
You mean PRANKS! Hey, you know what TV is, right? You've seen those prank shows? I've worked on them!
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Whoa, they make shows about them?! I've never seen one! Tell me about it, tell me!
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They get a crew to set up pranks and film them so they can edit them together later and show them on TV! Those're pretty popular. One time we got Kris to try flushing a bath bomb down the toilet . . . Tenna still feels bad about that one! The plumbing bill was no joke!
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I wanna do that! Can we do that?
—wait why am I asking if we can, we're doing that!!
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But I wanna do other pranks too! Really good ones! We can even record it like your show!
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You're right!! Management would deserve it for their incom . . . incomp . . . for being really bad at being management!
Big sis is another Paragon! She's really serious about the evil stuff . . . even if she's bad at it . . . we could prank her too . . .
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There's some paragons who act like they're the leader, but no one really listens to them 'cuz it's stupid. We're all equal! And equally targets for our pranks!
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Wah . . . R-Right, I look forward to working with you too!
I don't have marching orders per say but! If you want to start pranking people, please do! And we can have another meeting to plan the biiiig stuff!
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